Bad Move

Soon after there was a huge fight in the house between Shavaun and Isaac, over Shavaun falling, and Isaac…  I don’t know, assisting the fall, not assisting the getting up… what have you.  Either way, she over reacted and screamed at Isaac, threw a drink on him… shit got weird.  Because of all the commotion of the first real battle in the house all the cameras on staff were focused on that event.  I was in the bathroom pissing.  Kelly Anne follows me into my stall and proceeds to start kissing me again.  I pull her away by the shoulders, look her in the eyes and say,

“We can’t do this anymore.  It’s not that I don’t think you’re hot… I just can’t cheat on my girlfriend.” 

She responds with,

“I just want a boy, and I don’t have a boy here…”

I try to reason by telling her,

“Why don’t you just hook up with Cohutta, I’m pretty sure he likes you.”

To which she replies,

“I don’t want Cohutta!”

Now unbeknownst to me, Kelly had already hooked up with Cohutta, and came back to me after I thought I had made it clear that I wanted nothing to do with what we had going on in a more than “just friends” way.  This is the moment that I’ve experienced countless more times… and never seem to get in my thick head to stop doing it.  Gentlemen, whenever you tell a girl that goes out of her way and puts herself on the line to let you know that she’s all about it, and wants to hook up, which is totally out of the established cultural norms of courtship for the American female.  When you put her in this, “I’m flattered but I’m not interested” bracket, they smile, and say “It’s okay, I understand”…

A twig inside their head snaps in that moment… They fucking go insane toward you.  They now hate you.  They despise you.  They want you fucking dead.  The molecules inside their molecules want to skewer your soul.  You’ve humiliated them.  You’ve made them feel that they are sexually unattractive.  That they are not worthy, and that whoever the in the hell you’re fucking is better than them.  This brings to surface every fiber of insecurity and jealousy they’ve ever possessed in their being.  You my friend are now… FUCKED.  I was fucked.  From this day forward, Kelly Anne, was kind of a bitch to me, and there wasn’t that much I could do about it.  I mean the only thing I had was she didn’t want Cohutta to know the extent of our relations, but she knew what trumped that (and by a lot) was I didn’t want my girlfriend to know what had transpired between us.  Needless to say, she had my balls and she was squeezing.  I don’t care who you are, no one that hasn’t been through the same situation, (and I don’t think anyone has, unless the exact same situation happened in a parallel universe) knows what it’s like for someone that’s as prideful as I am to take shit from someone he has such little genuine respect for… and can’t say anything about it.  You can’t react.  You have to fucking get shit on, on a daily basis and treated like an asshole, and you can’t stand up for yourself.  You can’t make a counter argument, because she’s dangling the “I know something your girlfriend might want to know card” above your head.  And she brought it up too… every time it got heated between us.  God it sucked. 

“Well,” I said to myself, “I’ll never make that mistake again.”